cool-dad-on-the-internet:

I hope in millions of years time, this is the last photo that remains of the human race and that aliens base the anatomy of people from this.

the downside of being a virgin is that u can literally be used as a blood sacrifice at any given moment

jaclcfrost:

one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony” 

and then “what if his last name was award”

and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”

emmy, tony, and oscar award

oh my god

When someone tells you they had a dream and you were in it

“Ah, yes, my psychiatrist, Hax Murderer. He has been helping me profile this ax murderer.”

ironicapples:

Well guess what tomorrow is

what if hannibal gave a guest talk at the academy and started it off with
“good morning my name is hannibal lecter and welcome to my hannibal lecture”

astronomerinprogress:

How to Solve a Physics Problem

rock paper scissors stresses me out so much which one do i pick which one will the other person pick i have to decide so quickly